Dear Kason, a letter to my son

My very own baby-baby! The baby of them all! Oh, my little boy, I love you so much. You were the only surprise- the best surprise I have ever gotten in my entire life. My little early bird, you are the first face I see every morning, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

You already have the most beautiful personality to match your beautiful face. You were difficult to feed from the beginning. It was a challenge I was up for. You showed me that not everything is easy, but if you keep trying, it's possible.

Little baby B, you had spunk even inside me. If I laid on my left side, you would fuss and kick and squirm until I moved. You didn't like being laid on by your brother!

I am so grateful for your existence. I never knew how badly I wanted you until I knew you were there! You and Kyler are so wonderfully different and I love each and every difference. You are a minute younger, but you are (and always have been) a little bigger. Since you didn't get to be born first, you have to do everything else first!

I hope you grow up to know how much you are truly loved. I will always be your number one fan! I've enjoyed being your mom from the first moment I saw you on the ultrasound. On the nights I work, I race home because I know you're awake and waiting on me with the most beautiful smile. I can't wait to see you in a few hours. I will hold you tight and smell your baby Kason smell and get lost in the awe of the most precious gift from God.

Always know I will be there for you. When you cry, when you laugh, when you need someone to listen, when you need support, when you need money, when you need love, when you need a hug, when you need someone to tell you its all going to be okay- I'll be there. I don't want to miss a moment with you.

You have God on your side and He's the only one that loves you more than I do. Seek Him always and you'll be on the right path.

You and your brothers are my everything. Never doubt how much you are loved, how precious you are, and let your little light shine.

Love, Mommy

 

 

6 months postpartum with belly shot!

Jaden has had 2 weeks of pre-k now and it's going great! He has an amazing teacher and they are so patient with him and encouraging with him and he really does love school. Of course, he'd RATHER stay home all day and play video games - but who wouldn't? He is really growing and blossoming already. I never even thought that public school might be a good thing! And he loves gymnastics, it's the highlight of his week!

Kason had his circumcision revision surgery today. He did great- LOVE the people at CHOA. I can't give them enough praise. I felt so comfortable with them and Kason did too. 

So nearly 6 months postpartum. I haven't breastfed in over 3 weeks. The extra skin on my belly is super gross. And my belly button is the worst. I have an umbilical hernia and my abdominal muscles are separated. Ugh. 

I have found the baby carrier I want since they are outgrowing the ktan. It's a kinderpack and I can't wait to get it! Love to wear my babies <3.

Everyone's doing great, super busy. The kids all have a million appointments a week plus I work full time.

Switched the twins formula this week to nutramigen and Kason ended up with an awful diaper rash. It's finally starting to get better with a mixture of the desitin in the purple tube, mylanta, and Vaseline. They still have colic. At this age. They literally cry. All. Day. 

Haven't seen improvement with the new formula yet but hopefully soon! I will update all about the twins after their 6 month checkup. 

Loving my iPhone. 

I think I got financial aid straightened out for school finally! Now I just gotta figure where in the world to pencil school in schedule wise. But it's got to be done. 

Just wanted to let y'all know what was up!

Jaden's World

Jaden has always been different. He has several (mostly fun) little quirks. Over the last couple of years, he has started to have some behavior issues. Addressed with pediatrician a few times, got referred to behavioral therapist (twice) who referred us to Occupational and Speech therapy.

On Wednesday we met with the psychiatrist at the behavioral place and she stated that Jaden was definitely on "the spectrum", obviously high-functioning and therefore Aspergers is his diagnosis. She also stated that he really needed to be in public school, that homeschool would not really be the best thing for him. He needs structure and routine and to be around lots of other kids and to have teachers that have education and experience with this kind of thing. In my heart, I knew she was right. School time had become a fight. He didn't want to do anything I wanted him to do, he didn't want to stop playing his video game, he flat out refused to do most things involving school work.

I was really disappointed at first. I thought there must be something wrong with me. I didn't want to let him down or fail him. I also wanted to do what was best for him, no matter what. I thought about it nonstop the whole evening, I discussed it with my family, I spent hours researching schools.

It's amazing how things can change so quickly. Even 2 months ago, things were drastically different than they are now. I can't believe my baby is going to school. But it feels right. I feel relief. Maybe if I didn't work full-time, maybe if I didn't need to go back to school myself, maybe if I didn't have 3 other children... I could homeschool Jaden. But honestly, I still don't think it would be better for him.

I decided I didn't just want to throw him into Kindergarten next year. I was afraid he would have culture shock and not do well. He has never been to any kind of day care or school before. And he does not adapt to change well, and cannot handle surprises. So found a place close to home that has a GA Pre-K opening. He already reads, knows letters and sounds, numbers, can count to 100, has known shapes and colors since he was 18 months old. But what he will really learn this year is how to be in a classroom, how to be independent, how to raise his hand and wait in line.

He was so worried that I would "leave him at school forever". So on Friday I took him there after his appointment with the child psychologist. I left him there for the hardest part of the day - lunch and nap- but it was only for 2 hours. He did amazing. He said, "Mommy, I want to sleep here." He hasn't taken a nap in years. He had his blankey in his angry birds backpack. He ate donuts for snack and played with Legos. His teacher paired him up with another student to show him the ropes. Jaden thrives around other kids, he is so friendly. I am so proud of my little genius. He amazes me every day. I am so lucky I get to be his mom.