The twins turned 7 months and Gage turned 4!

It's been forever since I've had a chance to update! I'll start with the twins and then I'll update on Gage. I might even add a little thing or 2 about Jaden. :)


There's no well baby checkup for 7 months, but through sick visits I know that Kyler weighs a little over 15 lbs and Kason weighs a little over 16 lbs. Kyler is still my tiniest tiny! He is not sitting completely unsupported, Kason is. Kason also is nearly crawling, and he can definitely go backwards. He can also get where he wants to go, but it's not TRUE crawling yet- but SO close! Kyler is content to be wherever he's at and you bring all the toys to him. Kyler is still the better eater. Kasons not much of a fan of food yet, he puts everything else in his mouth though! Recently they were sick, tested flu positive and then got pneumonia as complication from the flu. Also had ear infections in all 4 ears. Lots of antibiotics, nebulizer treatments, and a little bit of steroids and I have my happy babies back. They are still on the Zantac twice a day for reflux and it has made a HUGE difference in the colic/crying/fussiness. Also still on Enfamil Nutramigen (the hypoallergenic formula) for colic but I don't think its necessary anymore. Its so expensive though, I've given them regular Gerber Good Start a few times and they always puke some. Never did that before so its weird. They don't sleep through the night yet. Its probably because there are 2 of them in the same bed and 6 of us in the same room. I like having them close though :). And I can almost always get one of them to cuddle with me and go back to sleep (when I'm home). I'm working 7p-7a 3-4 nights a week. Night shift is so much better!

My baby G turned 4 on the 23rd. This was right in the middle of all the flu sickness. He had it pretty bad too. We didn't really have much of a party, just got a cake (that he doesn't eat) and let him open his presents.  He's growing up into a sweet sweet little boy. He is very emotionally charged, he tends to wander off, and he's just a little Gagey-roundface that I love sooooo much. The years are flying by! Right now he is following in big brothers footsteps loving call of duty and guns. He is also very into Mario and Donkey Kong and loves nothing more for someone (besides J) to play a video game with him.

 

 

 

 

Jadens been the typical 5 year old boy. He and Gage are only half a pound apart! He is learning so much in school and doing very well. He says he doesn't want to go, but does great once hes there. And I've already seen a big difference in him. He also LOVES gymnastics. I didn't think he would like it as much as he does, but really- he loves it! Not much to update on. Boys are growing like weeds. Let me know if y'all have any questions!

 

Dear Kason, a letter to my son

My very own baby-baby! The baby of them all! Oh, my little boy, I love you so much. You were the only surprise- the best surprise I have ever gotten in my entire life. My little early bird, you are the first face I see every morning, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

You already have the most beautiful personality to match your beautiful face. You were difficult to feed from the beginning. It was a challenge I was up for. You showed me that not everything is easy, but if you keep trying, it's possible.

Little baby B, you had spunk even inside me. If I laid on my left side, you would fuss and kick and squirm until I moved. You didn't like being laid on by your brother!

I am so grateful for your existence. I never knew how badly I wanted you until I knew you were there! You and Kyler are so wonderfully different and I love each and every difference. You are a minute younger, but you are (and always have been) a little bigger. Since you didn't get to be born first, you have to do everything else first!

I hope you grow up to know how much you are truly loved. I will always be your number one fan! I've enjoyed being your mom from the first moment I saw you on the ultrasound. On the nights I work, I race home because I know you're awake and waiting on me with the most beautiful smile. I can't wait to see you in a few hours. I will hold you tight and smell your baby Kason smell and get lost in the awe of the most precious gift from God.

Always know I will be there for you. When you cry, when you laugh, when you need someone to listen, when you need support, when you need money, when you need love, when you need a hug, when you need someone to tell you its all going to be okay- I'll be there. I don't want to miss a moment with you.

You have God on your side and He's the only one that loves you more than I do. Seek Him always and you'll be on the right path.

You and your brothers are my everything. Never doubt how much you are loved, how precious you are, and let your little light shine.

Love, Mommy

 

 

6 months postpartum with belly shot!

Jaden has had 2 weeks of pre-k now and it's going great! He has an amazing teacher and they are so patient with him and encouraging with him and he really does love school. Of course, he'd RATHER stay home all day and play video games - but who wouldn't? He is really growing and blossoming already. I never even thought that public school might be a good thing! And he loves gymnastics, it's the highlight of his week!

Kason had his circumcision revision surgery today. He did great- LOVE the people at CHOA. I can't give them enough praise. I felt so comfortable with them and Kason did too. 

So nearly 6 months postpartum. I haven't breastfed in over 3 weeks. The extra skin on my belly is super gross. And my belly button is the worst. I have an umbilical hernia and my abdominal muscles are separated. Ugh. 

I have found the baby carrier I want since they are outgrowing the ktan. It's a kinderpack and I can't wait to get it! Love to wear my babies <3.

Everyone's doing great, super busy. The kids all have a million appointments a week plus I work full time.

Switched the twins formula this week to nutramigen and Kason ended up with an awful diaper rash. It's finally starting to get better with a mixture of the desitin in the purple tube, mylanta, and Vaseline. They still have colic. At this age. They literally cry. All. Day. 

Haven't seen improvement with the new formula yet but hopefully soon! I will update all about the twins after their 6 month checkup. 

Loving my iPhone. 

I think I got financial aid straightened out for school finally! Now I just gotta figure where in the world to pencil school in schedule wise. But it's got to be done. 

Just wanted to let y'all know what was up!

Jaden's World

Jaden has always been different. He has several (mostly fun) little quirks. Over the last couple of years, he has started to have some behavior issues. Addressed with pediatrician a few times, got referred to behavioral therapist (twice) who referred us to Occupational and Speech therapy.

On Wednesday we met with the psychiatrist at the behavioral place and she stated that Jaden was definitely on "the spectrum", obviously high-functioning and therefore Aspergers is his diagnosis. She also stated that he really needed to be in public school, that homeschool would not really be the best thing for him. He needs structure and routine and to be around lots of other kids and to have teachers that have education and experience with this kind of thing. In my heart, I knew she was right. School time had become a fight. He didn't want to do anything I wanted him to do, he didn't want to stop playing his video game, he flat out refused to do most things involving school work.

I was really disappointed at first. I thought there must be something wrong with me. I didn't want to let him down or fail him. I also wanted to do what was best for him, no matter what. I thought about it nonstop the whole evening, I discussed it with my family, I spent hours researching schools.

It's amazing how things can change so quickly. Even 2 months ago, things were drastically different than they are now. I can't believe my baby is going to school. But it feels right. I feel relief. Maybe if I didn't work full-time, maybe if I didn't need to go back to school myself, maybe if I didn't have 3 other children... I could homeschool Jaden. But honestly, I still don't think it would be better for him.

I decided I didn't just want to throw him into Kindergarten next year. I was afraid he would have culture shock and not do well. He has never been to any kind of day care or school before. And he does not adapt to change well, and cannot handle surprises. So found a place close to home that has a GA Pre-K opening. He already reads, knows letters and sounds, numbers, can count to 100, has known shapes and colors since he was 18 months old. But what he will really learn this year is how to be in a classroom, how to be independent, how to raise his hand and wait in line.

He was so worried that I would "leave him at school forever". So on Friday I took him there after his appointment with the child psychologist. I left him there for the hardest part of the day - lunch and nap- but it was only for 2 hours. He did amazing. He said, "Mommy, I want to sleep here." He hasn't taken a nap in years. He had his blankey in his angry birds backpack. He ate donuts for snack and played with Legos. His teacher paired him up with another student to show him the ropes. Jaden thrives around other kids, he is so friendly. I am so proud of my little genius. He amazes me every day. I am so lucky I get to be his mom.

 

It's been a very bad week...

Monday evening after a nap, I woke with pain in my left breast. My breasts usually hurt when I woke up since I got engorged after 3 hours so I thought I would pump real quick and all would be fine. Left breast continued to ache. 

My mom and I took all the boys to babies r us to get the twins high chairs to feed them for the first time. I felt weak and tired, achy. Left breast still hurt.

Came home and fed the babies their first food (video on Facebook), got everyone ready for bed, went to sleep. Woke in the middle of the night in SEVERE all-over pain and freezing. I shook with chills yet I couldn't move. I began to vomit. It was only the beginning. 

I asked Robbie to get me a Lortab I had from my c-section. He worried over me- poking thermometers at me and tried to make me feel warm. I assured him the Lortab would bring my fever down and all would be fine. I continued vomiting and shaking and hurting til morning. I kept pumping as much as possible but threw up everytime I got up. Texted mommy that I needed antibiotics. Doctor called me in some and by noon I had oral dicloxacillin and grandma had gone to the pharmacy and gotten it for me. 

Too nauseous to swallow the pill, I took phenergan (from pregnancy) first. Took the medicine, took a nap. Woke up and mommy brought me my first shot of rocephin. Shot me right in the butt- I never even felt it. 

I tried to go out in the living room to be with my family. My precious twins had just started on formula and they cried and cried. I pumped some, dizzy and sweaty and pukey. I continued to be fevery that whole night. 

Wednesday morning came and I moved to grandmas bed so I could see my boys. Everytime I got up my blood pressure would drop 60s/30s. My fever finally broke that morning. I sweated to death. I was still in a great amount of pain and nauseous. My mom brought my second shot of rocephin that afternoon. 

Wednesday night was the first night I wasn't dry heaving in my bed. I nursed Kyler once on the left. Robbie still had to get them bottles because I was still in so much pain. 

Thursday I was supposed to work (that night) but I called out that morning for the first time ever. I knew I wouldn't be able to stand for that long without fainting. My family begged me to eat. I ate a half of a sandwich that day, first food since Monday.

I laid in bed all night Thursday night and cried and cried. I was so scared of getting mastitis again, I knew that I NEVER wanted to go through this again. I really felt like I was in danger of being hospitalized and maybe worse. It wasn't worth it to risk my life to exclusively breast feed my 5 month old twins. They needed their mommy more than they needed breast milk.

But ohhhh the guilt. I felt like I was giving up on them. I was failing them. I wasn't ready to lose that relationship yet. Once this is done, I will never get this back. So final. So heartbreaking. 

Friday morning I went to WIC to trade in my breastfeeding vouchers for formula vouchers. I cried at the poor lady there. I turned in my borrowed pump. 

I took Gage to karate and went to work. Realized I had sent parts of my old pump with the pump that belonged to WIC and now found myself unable to pump at all. I never learned how to hand express. The beginning of my shift is very demanding and I was really starting to be in a ton of pain. I tried to hide and push milk out, it hurt and I got nothing. I called my mom crying and she told me to put warm wet cloths on my breasts and that would help and take ibuprofen for pain and inflammation.

I sat in the floor at work and bawled my eyes out. All the pain, exhaustion, and really just grieving for the loss of breastfeeding. And thinking to myself I shouldn't take anything for pain. I deserve to be in pain for what I'm doing. Your body doesn't want you to stop breastfeeding. It wants you to feed your babies. 

I finally took some ibuprofen and was able to express some milk by hand and felt much better. 

The toll on my body was big, but the emotional ramifications of this whole thing was huge. I guess there are hormones when you stop breastfeeding because I have been as tearful and emotional as 4 days postpartum. And that was bad! 

I burst into tears looking at all of my breastfeeding supplies. I burst into tears looking into the faces of my beautiful healthy baby boys. Yes, I'm devastated that I'll never have that again. But I am so completely grateful for their health and for them in general and for formula. 

My breasts are still pretty sore and very full. I'm still taking my oral antibiotics and today have been blessed with a yeast infection from it all. My appetite is coming back, though it'll never be what it is. 

I'll still snuggle my babies so closely. Breathe in their baby smell and hold them tight as they grow so fast right in front of me. And maybe, if there's any milk in my breasts, I'll give Kyler a little snack every now and then. 

Dear Kyler, a letter to my son

My sweet baby Kyler. The reason for all my heartburn. You had so much hair when you were born- I suffered for a long time for that hair and you just let it all fall out! But you have the most beautiful perfect little porcelain face. It's little a miniature face, it's the sweetest thing. I remember you having the hiccups everyday inside me. It was so subtle, like you were saying, "I'm here too! Don't forget about me!"

You have suffered with colic for all of your short little life. I hate seeing you hurt. I hate that I can't make it better. But in this struggle I have found my place. And in that, your place with me. I was chosen to be your mommy. You were chosen to be my son. Even though you cry, I now know that you are still comforted by my cuddles and soothed by my smell.

My one and only boobie baby- I will nurse you for as long as you want. You made me feel like a breastfeeding pro when it was really my first time. You showed me that I really can do it. You have shown me that you know what you're doing and that I need to trust you. Just as you trust me to be there for you.

I will always be there for you, my amazing little boy. You never have to worry. Mommy's got this. I can't wait to see you soon and hold you in my arms. I'll wear you and we'll sing together. Always know that you're so very loved, cherished and wanted.

Don't give away all my sugar before I get home! See you soon dollface. I love you.

Update- Jaden 5 years and twins 4 months

Time is really flying by. Jaden turned 5 on the 20th of August and had an angry birds themed birthday party. He was really pleased with the gifts he got. I had to work the night before and the night of the party so I didn't get to spend as much time with him as I wanted to. Of course, there's never enough time! We are starting school on Tuesday after Labor Day- I'll be sure to blog about that.

Jaden had his 5 year check up yesterday. He weighs 38 lbs and is in the 25th percentile for both height and weight. That means that 75% of kids his age are bigger and 25% are smaller. He is very proportional. He didn't get any shots but they stuck his finger to test his hemoglobin and he was extremely unhappy about that. We spoke with the doctor about his developmental delay and some behavior concerns. She wants us to go back to the psychologist for further testing. She says some of his issues sound like maybe add/adhd and he still has some tendencies from the autism spectrum but she doesn't diagnose these disorders. First we see what the psychologist thinks, then in 3 months follow up with the regular pediatrician and depending on what the psychologist says maybe get a referral for a developmental pediatrician. Honestly, I would rather him see the developmental pediatrician than the psychologist... but we'll see what they say.

We also got a referral for a physical therapy evaluation. Jadens hips are still super tight from the w-sitting and he is significantly behind in gross motor and fine motor skills. The skills have improved a ton in occupational therapy but he's still behind.

I also talked to the doctor about his picky eating and sensory issues with food. She referred us to speech therapy for a swallow study. He was evaluated by speech already and it wasn't indicated that he had issues. And he has no problems swallowing so I don't think we're gonna be doing that. It's just a sensory thing.

Jaden then failed his eye exam. Another referral! This time for a pediatric optometrist to see if he needs glasses.

I think that's all for Jaden.

The twins had their 4 month checkup yesterday. Kyler is 13 lbs 5oz and Kason is 13 lbs 9oz! It was really surprising because I thought Kason was so much bigger than Kyler. Their heads are exactly the same size and Kason is a quarter of an inch taller.

I asked about Kylers cradle cap. He has the worst cradle cap I've ever seen and got a prescription for a steroid cream for it.

I had her look in their mouths to make sure there was no thrush because my nipples are in really bad shape. Kason has basically shredded them with lazy latching. They are both cracked and bleeding in more than one place. But no thrush. Teething hardcore for sure. Mother in law bought an amber necklace- we are hoping it helps.

Kason has what looks like some extra skin on his penis, so he got a referral to a urologist. I think our doctors just refer out all of our problems! All 4 boys are circumcised and if there's any penis issues I want to get them fixed now while they're babies.

The doctor is very pleased with their growth. They are still exclusively breast fed and I don't plan on starting solids until at least 6 months. The doctor said it was ok to try if I wanted to but after extensive research I have decided to delay solids and I'm leaning towards baby led weaning with a little modification.

They got 5 vaccinations each (4 shots and an oral) and it was hoooorrrriibblllleeee. Ugh. Their poor little legs! I thought I might faint.

Little Gage is the only one that didn't have an appointment. He's doing great though- love him so much. Not much to update on with him! He is getting really tall though.

I hope I didn't forget anything. I'll be writing again about Jadens first day of kindergarten soon! Love y'all.

Dear Jaden, a letter to my son

For as far back as I can remember, I wished for you. I dreamed of your existence when I was 5. I never wanted anything more than I wanted you.

When I found out I was pregnant, it was the most amazing feeling. It was scary and wonderful at the same time. My life was at a standstill and I didn't know where you would fit in, but I knew that you would. I didn't know it, but I had a Jaden-shaped hole in my heart and it was your perfect place.

It took me a long time to bond with you but when I did, it was intense. We've been inseparable ever since!

I'm supposed to be teaching you about life, but you teach me everyday what life really is. I hope I never stop learning from you. I love seeing the world through your eyes. Your tiny little self grew me up. I have never before worried like I worry over you.

I know you are going to go far and succeed in whatever you want to do. You are already driven and detail oriented. Your memory is a special gift- I've never met anyone with a memory like yours. Use it well. Everywhere we go, you make a friend. Never lose that love for other people.

I love to just watch you exist. I have watched you breathe, watched you sleep, watched you grow before my very eyes. You make me proud everyday. You love so passionately, sometimes you can't even handle it. You're just a little guy, have patience with yourself and others. Be kind and forgiving, especially to yourself.

I love to hear you sing, watch you dance, listen to you talk. You brought our family together... done so much in a short time. You just turned 5 and though I love to watch you grow and enjoy you more and more everyday, I wish you would stay my innocent little baby forever. Luckily, you will ALWAYS be mommy's precious baby.

Stand tall, my first born son. You are far more important than you realize, loved no matter what, cared about by so many.

I love you and your brothers equally, but I will have always loved you the longest.

I'll peek into your bed in the morning, watch you breathe and sleep. Put your blankey near your mouth to get a glimpse of your sucky face. "Pet" your back and cover you up. And enjoy every minute of you!

Dear Gage, a letter to my son

Dear Gage,
I wanted you before you even existed. When I found out I was pregnant, I was thrilled! I wanted another little boy, and I knew your name would be Gage. You were the perfect addition to our little family. When you were inside me, you kicked so hard! When you came, you had to go to NICU for respiratory distress and it broke my heart. You were fine though, and soon safely in my arms.

Breastfeeding did not go well, you ended up with blood in your stool and really unhappy. I had to switch to hypoallergenic formula to make your tummy better. However, I still bonded with you, my little fusspot. You cried all the time until you were one and I couldn't do much for you. We cuddled a lot.

You have this perfect little porcelain round face. It earned you the nickname "little gagey round face". Even your eyes are perfectly round and were blue for so long. When you were born your hair was strawberry blond, now it's brown like the rest of ours.

You have always loved doing everything your big brother Jaden does. You still love to cuddle. You love to cook and do laundry and dishes. You are my right hand man.

My little sensitive sweet Gage, you are the best big brother ever. You love your little brothers more than I ever thought possible. You are only 3 years old and you seem 10 the way you take care of them. Mommy is so unbelievably proud of you. I love the person you are, the child you are growing into, and the man you will one day become. You have already made me so proud in so many ways. I can't wait to watch you grow and learn and I thank God everyday that I get to be here for this, and I thank God for you.

Gage Davis McKinnon, you are loved. You are cherished. You are wanted, always.

I will kiss your sweet face in the morning.

Love, Mommy

Growing up

Everyone's growing up so fast! Jadens about to turn 5 and starting kindergarten this year. We are so excited about homeschooling. We joined a homeschool group and we have lots of functions to go to. These are the kids that they're gonna grow up with, gonna be their lifelong friends.

I go back to night shift starting Monday, so happy to get my hours back. It works out much better for my family life and I get to see my boys way more.

Not much else to update on. Still exclusively breastfeeding. All my joints are still sore. Babies are getting huge! Still producing tons of milk. Not much has changed.

Everything's really busy right now. My wonderful sister in law bought me an amazing planner that I just love! Jadens birthdays coming up and that's going to be a lot of fun.

I had a mishap with school and taxes and financial aid so now I have to amend my taxes and start school in January. It shouldn't affect my graduation date though. Just an aggravation. Small bump in the road.

I really can't think of anything else that's going on :) love you all!

3 months postpartum!

The twins are 3 months old! I cannot believe how time is flying. I don't know how much they weigh because they haven't been to the doctor since 2 months and don't go back until 4 months, but I'm tellin ya- these babies are HUGE!

They're still pretty much fussin all the time. Daddy does well with cryin babies when he's home. Kasons going through a phase where he wants to be held all the time and doesn't really like to be worn. Kyler loves to be worn.

Breastfeeding is still going strong. I still have the oversupply with foremilk/hindmilk imbalance that I am STILL working on correcting. I think its getting better but they still need the lactase drops or the fussiness is way worse. Kylers colic seems to be improving with the chiropractic treatment. The whole family is going twice a week for that. He still has some episodes but not as often and they don't last as long.

I'm struggling to find time for everything I need to do and have found myself needing a better schedule. It's a work in progress as well. Kyler sleeps through the night once or twice a week (through the night being from 10 pm to 5 am). Kason never sleeps through the night but usually skips the midnight feeding and wakes around 2 or 3. They are super easy at night though. They just eat and go back to sleep. Kasons still an early bird and likes to stay awake after 7 am.

I'm losing lots of baby weight but my body's not the same at all. It's amazing that I'm still losing weight with as much as I'm eating right now. I'm a bottomless pit! Sometimes my scar still aches if I bump it on the crib, it seems to be right at the same level. Mostly it's numb all around it. I still have the flabby belly skin and hernia. So not cute. I'll post a pic soon for you morbidly curious people that don't see me at home everyday.

I did finally get a stroller! Super exciting! It's a really nice one too. Graco duo quattro something. Love it.

I've been having joint pain for the last month or so. Mostly ankles, knees, hips and elbows. I've come to the conclusion that it's the hormones from breastfeeding (lots of relaxin) plus the hormones from my mirena making my joints loose and sore. So I don't have Lyme disease without a tick bite or something (I don't think)!

Still hatin my phone. Let me know if you have any questions or if I forgot to update about something!

12 week old twins chiropractor visit!

So a couple of days ago, someone in my "Moms of Twins" group of facebook suggested I try taking Kyler to a chiropractor for his colic. I had never even heard of babies going to chiropractors before! Especially not for treatment of colic. So I did lots of research. People on the internet (and people I knew in real life) had nothing but positive things to say and their own success stories! So I thought it couldn't hurt to try it. I emailed and then called a local place that treats infants. They had me come in this morning and bring both babies for a free evaluation and exam. FYI- WellCare does not cover chiropractors.

It was a small office with some older people there, they cooed over how cute the twins are. Went into a room and Dr. Martin came right in. He told me that he would have to put them in their natural position to examine their spines. He then turned Kyler upside down and held him by his ankles! I'm thinking to myself, "Oh Lord. What have I gotten into?" Kylers head immediately tilted to the right. Then the doctor told me that he was going to "vibrate Kylers atlas." So he squeezed the back of his neck and kinda shook it gently, like a vibration. Kyler fussed but did not scream. The doctor did that for about 30 seconds and poked his back in a couple of other places. Then he held him upside down again. This time, Kylers head did not tilt and he was perfectly straight!

He repeated the process with Kason and he had the same reaction. Dr. Martin said that both of their spines had been out of whack and now the nerves could get to the digestive system better and things would work the way God intended. In my research I found the causes of "spinal subluxation" in infants to be: Crowding in utero, c-section births, breech presentations during pregnancy, rough handling (as in inexperienced diaper changers), and forceps/vacuum extractions. Kyler was breech for a long time during pregnancy, and they were both very crowded, but Kyler was more crowded. And they were born by c-section. So they had some risk factors!

Anyway, we go back on Friday morning to see how their spines are and if they need another adjustment, and to see if todays adjustment helped with the colic. The best part is, they aren't charging me for today or Friday! :)  Hopefully my baby boys are well on their way to wellness! Who knew people actually hung babies upside down?

Mommy's little piggies

Time is flying! I had school orientation today, got all the financial aid stuff sorted out. Having to retake anatomy and physiology 1 and 2 and microbiology (and their labs) because they can't be older than 3 years and of course mine are. At least they're classes I like, especially micro!

The last few nights have been rough with the twins. They are so fussy in the evenings and at night. They just cry and cry. Can't wait until they outgrow the colic. If it's not soon I will lose my mind for sure. Breastfeeding is still going well. I have become somewhat of a breast milk hoarder and cannot be reassured that I have enough in the freezer or that I'm making enough. Though the twins are HUGE and I pump more than they eat. Still. You can never have too much. Even with oversupply. :)

Jaden (who will be 5 next month) is a night owl and has a really hard time going to sleep, especially since the twins are usually crying and we all share a room. Some of you have been wondering what it looks like to have 2 adults and 4 kids in one room so I'm going to post a video on Facebook in just a few. Anyway, the pediatrician suggested Jaden take melatonin each night (this was about a year ago, he's always had trouble). I'm not sure if I should try it. And how would I get it in him? Anyone have experience with children and melatonin?

Gage is still having some aggression but its almost always towards Jaden. He loves the twins soooo much and he is so great with them. He fetches anything they need or I need, and loves to talk to them and make them smile. He and Jaden do play together more than they fight though.

This is my first time blogging from my phone. I still hate this phone, I think even more than I did when I first got it. Want my iPhone back for sure. If something happens and this post doesn't save, I'm throwing it in the trash.

I'm gonna run and make that video while I can, I hope to update the blog more often! Thanks for reading :)

Happy Days

I've been struggling to find time to write this update! But I finally found it :)

Right now my 3 year old Gage is screaming at the top of his lungs in a temper tantrum. He really is going through the terrible threes. They are way worse than 2 ever was! Sometimes he gets so aggressive, especially to his 4 year old brother. He needs an outlet for sure. On a super positive note, he potty trained himself this week! We had been encouraging him to wear his underwear and not pee in them and also try to pee in the potty. While visiting his Granny last weekend, he decided to pee in her potty. Ever since then he has been peeing AND pooping in the potty with only an accident or 2. I am SO proud of my big boy!!!!

The twins had their 2 month checkup on Wednesday. Kason weighs 10 lbs 2 oz and is 21 and 3/4 inches tall. Kyler weighs 10 lbs 8 oz and is 23 inches tall! Kason feels heavier but I think it's because he's more compact. Kyler's colic has really not improved much unfortunately, we are just waiting it out. I am going to start wearing them though when I get my baby k'tan carrier! Hopefully that will help. Either way, I can't wait to use it.

Starting back to work was really rough. I missed everyone so badly and it was hard trying to pump every 2-3 hours and still try to get back in the swing of things. So much of what I do at work is timed and I can't afford to be slow or distracted. I have gone down to part time though and I think it's for the best, especially with school. I have managed to stay ahead of them with pumping so far and I intend to continue to pump and breastfeed until they're 1 with no formula ever. That's the plan anyway! :)

I can't remember if I talked about this in a previous post or not, but I'm having trouble deciding whther to start kindergarten with Jaden this year or not. He will be 5 August 20th and while ahead academically, he is behind in maturity and physically. We are using My Fathers World curriculum and it's supposed to start off gently so I think we will just do it and see what happens. If I feel like he isn't ready yet or he's not enjoying it, we can either do it slower or wait a while.

We are going to occupational therapy twice a week for one hour sessions and it is helping a lot with his motor skills. He can press down with more pressure with a crayon now and is having more strength in his fingers. Jaden still frequently "w-sits" and it has made his hip muscles tight so he runs funny and it hurts his legs to sit other ways like "criss-cross applesauce". He also has general low muscle tone so he gets tired faster than other kids and he doesn't ride a bike or tricycle. We are working on all these things with the wonderful people at Aspire Pediatric Therapy! Love them! Jaden loves going to OT.


I got a new phone, the samsung galaxy s4. I had an iphone 4s. I miss my iphone! The galaxy is so different and I'm not used to it and find the device very aggravating and not user friendly at all. I'm hoping it'll grow on me.

Local people with small kids- we need to get together and play. Also, I was thinking about getting Jaden involved in a sport or activity this year, but not sure how to go about it or what he would really like. I was thinking about tumbling. I plan on talking to his O therapist about it next week. Does anyone have any suggestions on what we should try? He's not old enough for music lessons right? We're definitely gonna do 4H and boy scouts when he's old enough because I know he would love those things. Gage definitely needs something physical, but he 's so young and usually refuses to participate in things.

Y'all give me feedback on these things, you can leave it on my facebook if you don't want to comment here. facebook.com/ashley.mckinnon

Until next time!

Q&A!

Here is the Q&A as promised! I got a few questions inboxed to me, some asked verbally, and some texted.

Q: How are Jaden and Gage adjusting to life with the twins?
A: It depends on the day, really. Jaden has had some regression and increased tantrums since right before they were born. The regression is better, and some days the tantrums are. Gage at first didn't notice them much. Now he really likes them, and he is my right hand man. He is super helpful and likes to be involved. Lately he has had an increase in aggression and being more emotional, and I'm not sure if those are related to the birth of the twins or not. They can both tell the twins apart and have not ever expressed any negativity towards them.

Q: How is twin pregnancy, labor and delivery different with twins than a singleton? 
A: For me, the first trimester symptoms were way worse with twins. I was unbelievably tired, my boobs hurt so bad they couldn't be touched, I vomited frequently. I also felt like I felt the "baby" moving at 10 weeks, when I knew it was too early. I was working full time during this pregnancy and in my previous pregnancies I had not worked, only gone to school. Starting in the second trimester, I thought I would literally die of heartburn. With my singleton pregnancies, I did have heartburn in the third trimester but it was well controlled with Zantac. There was no stopping this twin heartburn. It felt like my chest was ripping apart all the time. I was on Prilosec, Zantac, Protonix, and many Tums and it barely helped. With my singletons, I was induced both times so the labor was rough. Pitocin is nobodys friend! They were both vaginal deliveries. With the twins, I had prodromal labor for weeks. I had contractions every day from 32 weeks, but never dilated past 3cm. Scheduled my one and only C-section at 38 weeks exactly.

Q: Are you getting any sleep?
Right now, the twins are 6 weeks old and still eat about every 3 hours. I have been trying to keep them on a schedule of 3-6-9-12 but that doesn't always work out. Kyler eats more frequently and Kason eats more at once. Also, if Kason is sleepy, he will not wake up to eat. They are still exclusively breastfed, never had any formula! The pediatrician has advised me not to feed them at the same time for a couple of weeks because my letdown is more forceful when both breasts are stimulated and they have a hard time keeping up. So for now at night, I feed one and hope the other one doesn't wake up crying before I'm done. Sometimes it works out. Sometimes I fall back asleep for 45 minutes before the other wakes up. It just depends. So I get sleep in small doses throughout the night and no day time naps for me.

Q: Did you breastfeed your other 2 children?
Jaden not at all, and Gage only for a week. So this is really my first time doing this.

Q: Are your twins identical?
No, they are fraternal. We weren't sure until they were born but now we are sure! They're very different. They were dichorionic/diamniotic which means they were in their own sacs and each had their own placenta. If you are looking at pictures of them, Kyler has a lot more hair than Kason does.

Q: Do twins run in your family?
No they do not. Since it only matters on my side of the family (since I'm the one that dropped 2 eggs it has nothing to do with my husband), we have learned that these are the first twins we know of in my family.

Q: Were you using fertility treatments to get pregnant?
No. The twins were completely spontaneous. I was, however, having irregular cycles since coming off the Depo shot.

Q: Did you get your tubes tied? If not, what birth control will you be using if any?
I did not get my tubes tied. I am getting an IUD at my 6 week checkup.

Q: Do you want more kids?
 Not at this time. I could not handle any more children. If my husband and I feel differently in 10 or so years, we may revisit, but it's not likely (and I'll be 39!). So I don't think I'll be having any more and I'm perfectly happy with that.

Q: Who takes care of your boys while you work?
My grandmother and aunt live with me and take care of them. My mom also lives not far away and comes over everyday to help out as well. I am very blessed to have the family I have. I could not do this without them!

Q: What guilty pleasures do you indulge in to have some "me-time"?
I have recently discovered my love for pedicures! I've only had one but it was an amazing experience and I can't wait to go back! I also love to watch Dance Moms and Greys Anatomy. And I love taking baths!

Q: Where did you get the names Kason and Kyler?
I had originally liked the name Chyler (as in Chyler Leigh actress that played Lexie on Greys) for a girl but was afraid it sounded too masculine. Everyone knows I wasn't gonna have a girl anyways. So I changed the spelling to make it even more masculine and appear to be a cross between Kyle and Tyler. Then, my husband and I had liked the name Payson but were again unsure about the gender. When I found out I was naming twins, I decided I'd like their names to start with the same letter and NOT rhyme!  Kason was the natural conclusion. Fun fact: the name Kamden was also considered. Their middle names are family names just as the other 2 boys have family middle names. Kason Todd is named after my stepdad that means so much to me, and Kyler Thomas is named after my moms daddy (as is Jaden Drew).

Q: When are you going back to work?
I start back next week, the twins will be 7 and a half weeks old. I had 12 weeks unpaid FMLA and used 4 weeks of it on bedrest before they were born.

Q: Do the twins sleep in the same crib?
They do. We only had enough money and space for one crib. I did not get a bassinet, just the crib. They sleep in our room. I do have a pack n play in case I need to separate them for some reason. I'm going to try to keep them in the same crib until they're big enough for toddler beds. I hope it works out, but if not it's ok.

Q: Are your older 2 boys twins?
They are not. They are 15 months apart. However, they do generally wear the same size clothes and are about the same size. Jaden (the oldest) is a little taller.

Q: How do you feel about not having a girl?
I'm ok with it. Really. I always thought it would be nice, but I'm so happy with my boys. God knows what he is doing!

Q: I saw that Jaden was not completely potty trained until he was 4 and a half. Is Gage potty trained? And are you going to allow all of your boys to be in diapers that long?
Gage is not potty trained. We are going to start soon really encouraging him to make that step but I wanted to wait until after the twins were here and everything was settled. I believe they will do it when they are ready. Each child is different and forcing them before they are ready will only result in frustration and disappointment. I started trying to potty train Jaden when he was 2. So, I will allow each child to go at his own pace and refuse to punish them or shame them for not going to the bathroom. They won't go to college in diapers, this won't last forever. If they are 4, then they're 4. If they're 3, that's ok too.

Q: Are your boys circumcised?
They are. It was the preference of my husband and I, I believe it is each family's decision whether or not to have this done. 

That's all the questions I received for today! Hope everyone enjoyed!

This week in review

What a crazy week! First our dryer broke. We currently have 5 adults and 4 children living in this house. And the twins go through 100 outfits a day it seems like! So the dryer breaking was a minor disaster. Robbie diagnosed the problem and ordered the parts.

Tuesday morning Gage had a follow up appointment from last week when he had that virus and his white blood cells had been really low. Retested a week later and back to normal. 

On Tuesday night, I was breastfeeding the twins at the same time and Kason had an episode where he kinda drowned in my breast milk. He couldn't breathe for like 15 seconds and it scared us both to death. Stupid forceful letdown and oversupply. Anyway, on Wednesday he couldn't breathe through his nose. It got worse and worse until as I was pulling out of the driveway for Jaden's OT with both of the big boys, Grandma flagged me down and said Kason wasn't breathing right and she didn't feel comfortable for me to leave. I called the doctor and they told me to bring him in. I ended up having to take everyone except Kyler because the big boys were already in the car and it would've been drama to get them out. I thought the breastfeeding episode had caused this and the nurse practitioner did an exam and said he was fine.

Thursday I went to my aunt Terri's to do laundry since the dryer was still broken. I brought all 4 boys and her grandson (who is 3) was there. It was a crazy day because the big boys were really wild all day and there was really no where to put the twins except on the floor which was dangerous with the kids running around. That day Kason's nose was really stopped up. He wasn't eating well or sleeping well. Then Kyler started acting stuffy.

Friday- the parts for the dryer came in and Robbie worked forever and was finally able to fix it- HOORAY! So proud of him! Kason's nose was not any better at all and I was afraid to go into the weekend with him like that. Back to the doctor we went. They examined him again and said there's nothing they can do about it, it's a cold virus (probably the same that Jaden and Gage had last week) and just keep doing what I'm doing.

Saturday was the best day of all. On Saturday afternoons, my mom always takes Jaden and Gage out to eat and to the grocery store and back to her house for the evening. I pumped some milk and Kyler went next door with my mother in law and Kason stayed home with Nanny. Robbie and I went out! He got a haircut and I got my first pedicure ever. It was the most amazing experience! I can't wait to go back! We walked to Kohls and Famous Footwear because I was looking for a new pair of flip flops. I didn't get any because I couldn't find any under $20. I'm not paying $35 for a pair of flip flops! Then we went to dinner at Chilis. 

Today we just had church which is always fun. The van was acting like it wasn't going to start after church so hopefully Robbie can look at that and it's something simple. Kasons nose is finally getting better today. Kyler is struggling a lot with gas and fussiness. Mylicon only helps a little. I think the oversupply is contributing to that some. 

So its been a long crazy week, and I haven't even gone back to work yet! I also haven't started school and the school year hasn't started for the boys! Yikes! I'm hoping we will be able to settle into a routine fairly quickly.

Thanks everyone for reading! I will update again soon, for the twins are about to be 6 weeks old!

Introductions and 5 week update!

My first blog post! I have more room here than on facebook so I can ramble on and on as much as I'd like! I think eventually I might like to do a "vlog" instead, but this will do for now. Tomorrow will be 5 weeks postpartum with fraternal twin boys. They are my 3rd and 4th babies. 

Updates:

Me- I've completely recovered (I think) from my c-section. My scar is now just a raised pink line across my lower abdomen. Its kinda itchy and numb in places. I'm no longer bleeding. Breastfeeding is still going well, I'm getting some sort of control over my oversupply since I'm not pumping as much. My breasts still leak really bad and I have random episodes of "let-down" quite frequently throughout the day. Its a pretty uncomfortable sensation, almost painful. Like tons of needles sticking me all over my breasts for about 30 seconds. I wish it only did it when there was a baby eating! I am so proud that they are exclusively breastfed. That said, I return to work on June 17th, 3 weeks away. I am extremely apprehensive about the whole thing. I don't want to leave my babies, especially not for 13 hours a day. Luckily I only work 2 days in a row and I have live-in caregivers that I love and trust. Its just not the same. I have to remember the boys need a roof over their heads more than they need me home with them everyday. I'm going back to school to get my RN, it will be a little less than 3 years from now when I graduate.I'm an LPN right now, I work at a nursing home.

The Twins- They are getting SO big! Their little chunky selves are outgrowing their newborn clothes and diapers. They have fat thighs and fat cheeks. Kason seems to be losing his hair already, but Kyler has enough hair for both of them! I think they're starting to smile for real, not just in their sleep or about gas. Kyler still comfort nurses a lot. I spoke to the pediatrician about it and he said it was his opinion to let him do it as often as I was comfortable with. He won't be an infant for long and he won't always do this. If I can give him love and comfort and security, I'm going to do that, no matter who it inconveniences. I'm more than just food to him and I'm ok with that. However, if Kason decides to comfort nurse (which isn't very often) he always spits up a lot. And he doesn't really like a paci. But my sweet little guy is generally so laid back and calm, he is content for me to just hold him and snuggle.

Gage- He's 3 and showing a lot of interest in the twins lately. He likes to pet their heads and he is a great little helper. He gets diapers for me and finds missing paci's. He still can't tell the difference between the twins and frequently asks which one is which. He is amazing at puzzles and loves to read books. He is also good at math, he can do simple math problems already. Gage is (so far) my most sensitive and emotional child. He gets his feelings hurt easily and is shy around strangers. He enjoys spending special time with his Grammy, Papa Todd, and Granny (my parents and mother-in-law). Gage still struggles with sharing, we are working on that!

Jaden- My big boy is 4. He starts kindergarten this August and it will be our first official year of homeschooling. We did Pre-K last year but it was very informal. He is ahead in reading, he reads at about a first grade level, but it is largely sight words as he still has difficulty sounding out new words. He is behind in writing because he has weak finger muscles. We are working on that with occupational therapy and beginning Handwriting Without Tears this school year. Sometimes he likes the twins, mostly he doesn't pay any attention to them. He has had some regression with toileting and tantrums. He has an incredible imagination and pretends almost everything is a gun or other weapon to "shoot zombies" with. Jaden would probably be kicked out of public school for sure for making a lego gun. His favorite person in the world is his dad (and where the whole guns and zombies craze started!) He also enjoys playing with trains and cars and can entertain himself for a very long time. I am working with him on becoming more independent and using his words. He's at an age now where he can be reasoned with (most of the time), so that's really nice. Jaden's super social and loves to play with other kids. He makes friends wherever we go.

Even though this was really long, there isn't that much to update on. I'll do a "day in the life" of a few different kinds of days soon (work days, home days, school days when they start) and maybe make some videos. As usual y'all comment and let me know if you have any questions or if I forgot something.